Journalist gets his “brain fried” with erotic hypnosis and lives to write the tale.



Jeremy Glass seems to be a pleasant fellow and he’s a journalist besides. A few months ago he contacted me about having an erotic hypnosis session so he could write about it for a well-known website for fashionable twenty-somethings. The well-known website didn’t publish it, but he just rewrote the article for another site and now you can find it here.

Now, I didn’t actually do what I’d call an erotic hypnosis session with him. I don’t know him that well (in fact, I didn’t know him at all), so I provided what I’d call a sexual confidence building session, the kind I’d actually do for clients. And I’m amused by his account of his experience in his article. He says he was “brain fried” but I think what actually happened was a gentle buzz. But “brain fried” certainly makes a nice headline, and it also reminds me of eggs, which is unfortunate, as I’ve been on a liquid diet the last few days and I’m so very hungry…

But I digress.

However, I would like to make a teensy correction to his article. Actually, sometimes people CAN “jizz on command” in hypnosis (as Glass says) but I don’t think it’s something you can usually get to happen right away with a stranger. Ditto with non-jizzing orgasms. I sure wasn’t going to try it with someone I didn’t know, over Skype, for a lark – not even with a journalist. Just not my thing, if you know what I mean.

Now eggs, I could get into those! Even with someone I didn’t know.

But I digress. (With butter. Yum…)



Other than that, I’m happy to have the publicity.

So then I guess I should mention that in October I’ll be doing two more Erotic Hypnosis workshops in Berkeley. Please join me. They are reasonably priced. And fun.

And in November I’ll be on the “Think Kink” program of the Society of Janus, talking about my survey of erotic hypnotists. The SOJ event will be held November 12 at the Center for Sex and Culture, 1349 Mission St, SF (btw 9 &10th St).

And did I mention eggs? Yeah, I guess I did…

(Fried egg by BozzyandJin, 2013, Creative Commons. Source:

Dr. Ted McIlvenna’s Statement to CA Senate Appropriations Committee

Check out Dr. Ted McIlvenna’s statement to the CA Senate Appropriations Committee here on Facebook (the IASHS page).




Then please assist us by signing our petition to amend SB 1247. IASHS is not the only small school jeopardized by the language in this bill. Thank you!

Help Save the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality and Other Small, Niche Schools Too!



Please sign this petition to amend CA SB 1247 and help save our school! I urgently make this request!

CA SB 1247 is a bill submitted to re-establish the Calfiornia Bureau of Private Postsecondary Education, and while we think this is a good thing, the current bill is making the mistake of requiring small institutions (many of which have delivered educational programs for decades) to have the same kind of accreditation that the much larger institutions have.

There’s a catch-22 here, in that the accrediting agencies are not interested in, and are not set up to serve, the smaller schools. They simply don’t care – and when a school delivers graduate level programs in human sexuality – they don’t even want to touch it!

This petition asks the State of California to instead allow a peer-review process, with supervision by the State oversight agency, as an alternative to the large regional and national accreditation BUSINESSES which do not wish to serve the smaller, niche-education schools.

So please, please, please do sign this petition. It’s so very important to so very many adult students in CA, not just those studying at IASHS! Thank you!




My New Job: Dean of Students, IASHS



I am so pleased to announce my new position as Dean of Students for the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality in San Francisco, as of August 5th. I’m very excited to have this opportunity to work at this very unique graduate school for sexologists, and with people who have given me so much in the way of opportunity and support over the last eight years.

I’m also looking forward to working with present and future students of IASHS.

My schedule is flexible enough that I will be able to maintain my private practice as a clinical sexologist, so I really have the best of all possible worlds. I’m feeling so lucky!

New Name for STD Alert App – Healthvana



It is with intense relief and gratitude that I pass along the announcement that the app formerly named after a treasured, sacred dance form is now officially christened Healthvana.

Though I was very hard on CEO Ramin Bastani and his advisors during the controversy, which was especially heated during most of this year’s spring, I am impressed with the fact that he not only listened – but also responded! It was not easy for him and his company to take on a third new name and all the branding and tech tasks that go along with this – but CEO Bastani did it.

By golly, he kept his word and he did it! I’m giving him every credit for this. Not many corporate and start-up folks would have taken the outrage of Hawaiians this seriously, but he did. And we can all breathe a real sigh of relief as a result.

I also look forward to the day when the remnants of “hula-as-an-STD-alert-app” are completely gone from the internet, replaced by Healthvana and the good work it can do.

Kumu Hina Documentary – It’s Stunning!!!


Ever since viewing the documentary, Ke Kulana He Mahu – Remembering a Sense of Placea few years ago, I’ve been an appreciative “fan” of Hinaleimoana Wong-Kalu, a kumu hula (hula teacher) and cultural/community activist from O’ahu. And so I’ve eagerly awaited the San Francisco Frameline Film Festival screening of the new documentary, Kumu Hina. Here’s the trailer:

The film screened yesterday in SF, and will be shown in Berkeley tonight. I was lucky to go yesterday with one of my hanai sisters, Therese Wonnacott aka Aunty Anita, who is herself a mahuwahine community and cultural activist. Among other things, she runs and promotes the California Panache pageant (a topic which deserves its own separate blog!). (And have to give a shout-out to Danielle Castro, my adopted niece!)

It was thrilling and emotionally moving to sit in the Castro Theater and hear the voice of San Francisco hula luminary, Kumu Patrick Makuakane, as he welcomed Kumu Hina with a chant, and to hear her voice ring out as she answered in kind. (After the film, some members of the audience stood up and offered I Ku Mau Mau, a chant often used to express solidarity.)

The film itself was glorious. Personally, I was in heaven as it combined two of my top passions – Hawaiian culture (and activism) and support for gender variant people. And, as the mother of two, including a recent college graduate who just happens to be a trans guy, the portrayal of Ho’onani, one of Kumu Hina’s young students, was very meaningful. The fact that this kid was able to take her “place in the middle” with the full support of her teacher (and perhaps the somewhat more cautious permission of her family) was outstanding. Honestly, this is so rare in the world! Ho’onani is not the only “in the middle” kid Kumu Hina has taught, but her story and presence was especially compelling.

Of course, opportunities for examination of all kinds of intersectionality abound in this film. And though this blog is not meant to be a film review as much as it is a tale of my experiencing of the film, I can’t avoid mentioning some of them. For one thing, though my heart was wide open, I was watching with non-Hawaiian eyes. And I had many lenses over these eyes: sexologist lens, parent of a trans person lens, former hula student lens, Hawaiian independence ally lens, partner of an elder Hawaiian independence activist and cultural practitioner lens, hapless citizen of the country occupying Hawai’i lens, younger partner of somewhat older person lens, feminist lens, settler-colonist of Turtle Island lens, and so on. Different parts of the film resonated with me on different levels and in different ways, while at other times I was aware of how profoundly different my life is from the experiences of the people in the film.

When Ho’onani opened up her voice and spirit and chanted, I was remembering how my oldest kid, as an eleven-year-old hula student, also used to chant with an intense spirit and voice. Watching the footage of rural Kaua’i, I hearken back to a certain off-grid plot of land in Waimea on Hawai’i island, where wild pigs, sheep, and dogs sometimes have roamed together. I also commiserated with the difficulties of long-distance relationships.

And when I came home late last night from the reception which followed the screening, I found a large pile of dishes in the sink – left for me to clean. So I recalled scenes from the film where Kumu Hina, an accomplished professional woman, copes at the end of the day with dinner and cleaning while her husband watches television. Her remarks about Polynesian men hit home too – and I responded to them as someone who has sometimes clashed with my (long-distance) Polynesian partner over issues which seem crystal clear to me as a white, feminist, urban Californian, but are far deeper and much more complex when taking so many other issues – and a whole other human being with a different genealogy and culture – into account.

Cultural clashes, intersections, and complexities are inevitable and not all binary, in spite of how I have written them here. In the Kumu Hina film there are many opportunities to explore elements which are either explicit or  implicit (or both!) and which rub up against each other in various ways, causing sensations of pleasure, confusion, inspiration, or pain: in front of the camera/behind the camera; love/struggle; male/female; rural/urban; American/Hawaiian; gender conforming/gender variant; colonizer/colonized; compliant/resistant; commodified/authentic; educated/less educated; younger/older; professional/working class; this island/that island; student/teacher; parent/child; conservative/progressive; and so on.

And yet the main message of this film – kept real by Hinaleimoana Wong-Kalu’s honesty, integrity, and groundedness – was not just the explicit message of aloha (the deeper kind, not the touristy interpretation), but also an implicit one of teachability. The film seemed to trust that most of us who watched it (as well as those who were involved in the making and living of it) could and would experience many layers of learning through the film  – learning which would lead us with more hopeful certainty to the possibility of understanding and experiencing aloha.

I am happy that Bay Area folks in LGBTQI etc, ally, Hawaiian, Pacific Islander, and Hawaiian music communities (often overlapping) combined to give Kumu Hina a welcome and a reception that was warm, loving, appreciative, and hospitable. She has many friends and sisters here, and they came out in force for her, cooked for her, played and sang for her, fetched more teriyaki sauce, and admired her copper colored sandals…

The rest of us who only knew of her, rather than knowing her personally, joined the standing ovations she and the film deserved. And I’m hoping some of us at least will also give to the film’s Kickstarter campaign (they’re trying to raise $10,000 and are about $7,000 short) and to Hinaleimoana Wong-Kalu’s OHA election campaign fund. OHA stands for “Office of Hawaiian Affairs” and she is running for election as a trustee.

I am also hoping that Halau Lokahi, the Hawaiian charter school where Kumu Hina teaches, will survive its current troubles. You can sign a petition supporting the school here and donate at the above link. These schools are super important for Kanaka Maoli (Native Hawaiian) kids, and deserve our support.

13 Reasons Why I’ve Started an Online “Sissy Maid” Course

SADA Header


1. Because I support gender identity and behavior variance, from hither to yon.

2. Because, as I look back on almost sixty years of an unconventional life, I am now particularly in the mood to celebrate (once again) creative manifestations of outlaw femininity – including (but not limited to) sissies, burlesque dancers, and fem dommes.

3. Because I can. As an online sex educator, why not? And I know I can do it well.

4. Because Julia Serrano said, “In a culture in which femaleness and femininity are on the receiving end of a seemingly endless smear campaign, there is no act more brave – especially for someone assigned a male sex at birth – than embracing one’s femme self” (Whipping Girl – A Transsexual Woman on Sexism and the Scapegoating of Femininity. 2007. Berkeley: Seal Press. p. 278).

And I do see the bravery of sissies.

5. Because I have a vision of facilitating “empowered feminization” – for those who want it.

6. Because I am fascinated by people who actually want to do housework.

7. Because I want to unleash my inner “Headmistress.”

8. Because I can enjoy vicarious frills.

9. Because sissies and sissy maids don’t seem to get much respect or attention, and don’t seem to be taken seriously in the broader discussions of gender and gender variance. As a sexologist and educator, I’d like to help change that.

10. Because service is a gift.

11. Because good training is a gift.

12. Because I am fascinated by British afternoon tea and kinky tea protocol and etiquette.

13. Because it’s been fun to create this class, and I am almost certain to enjoy teaching it. I can’t wait to meet my students!

So you see, there are many good reasons for creating this fun, new course!

For more information about SADA, or to enroll, go to this link: Service Academy of Domestic Arts, at Creative Sexuality Education Corp. We have a tuition special, at $100 for all fifteen classes, if you enroll by June 30th.

The online classes meet every two weeks, from May 30th until December 12th. If you start late and miss a few live webinars, you can always access the taped classes to catch up.